Sunday, March 16, 2025

Indecisive

 What do I want in a commitment? What does a commitment look like to you? It doesn't look like walking away from each other when things aren't going well, but giving each other space to breathe, evaluate, and come together to make things good again. 


Is a relationship about things being good? Things work as if something was never broken, once it becomes broken and-or broken? Then how do we fix it? One person suggests one thing *we try it, and it didn't work." We try it the other person's way, and it doesn't work. So why don't we try something together? Do things go back together, or am I looking at you differently? Do I still love me? Do you still like me? Can I still love you? 


I heard about pride getting in the way because I know how it makes you feel when something goes your way. Are you proud of that pride? Yes because I was tired of that pride being so proud of suffering Can't you see how much it's hurting me too I swear I didn't want to do this life thing without you So we take a step back, and we breathe in separate places. You go one way, and I'll go the other. 


I know this can't be what love does, Can it? It doesn't seem right. How can this love I gave make someone act this way? Well, how are you acting? Do you think the love this person is giving you is true? Are you capable of seeing through clear bullshit? Fxck, I'm sorry, baby. I really want this to work out; you just worked me up so bad, and that's when I get really mad. Nah ... Fxck that. 

Monday, March 3, 2025

Somewhere living in my fantasy.

 To be honest I love to live in my mind sometimes, I'm watching Goodfellas for the first time and it's a scene where Henry hill and beat the shit out of Sonny I believe, or one of the guys from the tennis team with a guy and when henry was done he gave the gun to Karen hill (before they got married) she said: "most girls wouldn't believe their boyfriend handed them a gun to hide but not me, it just turned me on."

In my world, I have a girlfriend who likes guns and chooses to get rid of bad people in the world. However I don't believe that makes her bad though, I don't why she has gotten so good at this job and why this particular got me so interested in her. After a night when she has gotten home from work at crazy hours at the night, all I wanted her to do was make love to me and then fuck me. It's a rush just like how fast you exhaled from your body. You are the breath I inhaled. 

It's Fall with Winter vibes/Do Christmas Wishes Come True...

It's like I have so much to tell you, but at the same time I'm tryna find the words I want to share with you. It's like days whe...